Wise Up! Skip College. Buy a Franchise!
(FranchisePick.Com) by Sean Kelly
I don’t want to imply that college is a waste of time, money and brain cells, so I’ll state it:
College is a waste of time, money and brain cells.
I know. I went to college (7 of the best years of my life).
When I graduated with my English degree, the business world threw a HUGE welcome party for me and rewarded my educational accomplishments with a lucrative position in Combustible Timber Logistics (or firewood delivery, for you non-grads). Pursuing my dream of complete unemployability, I returned for my Masters degree, and even stayed on to teach for a few years. Eventually, they forcibly ejected me through the ivy-covered doors to accept the fate of all college grads: a job completely unrelated to my field of study in a company whose owner dropped out halfway through 7th grade.
But don’t college graduates have much higher incomes than non-graduates?
Sure. Just ask the clerk at That Fish Place next time you’re buying goldfish for your pet piranha. He’ll tell you how he thanks his lucky stars every day for his PhD in Marine Biology.
Or ask those unfortunates who have had to struggle through life without college degrees. Poor Bill Gates ($56 bil), Paul Allen ($18 bil), Michael Dell ($15 bil) & Larry Ellison ($21 billion)… think of what they could have achieved had they finished college! Such a waste! It’s reported that billionaire John Simplot (3 bil), inventor of the French Fry, felt inferior around the liberal arts graduates who manned his deep fryers or who so articulately asked the customers “Would you like fries with that?”
College Diplomas: Worst. Investment. Ever.
According to The College Board’s annual report, “Trends in College Pricing”, the total college costs for the 2006-2007 academic year, including tuition and fees plus room and board, average $12,796 at public schools; $30,367 at private schools. That doesn’t include books and supplies, transportation costs, beer, pizza and disorderly conduct fines. Princeton University’s tuition is $33,000, bringing the total cost of lifelong superiority to $43,980 per year, including room, board, smoking jacket and pipe.
4 Years at Drunken State (public university) $ 51,184
4 Years at Mediocre U. (private college) $121, 468
4 years at BetterThan U. (elite private college) $ 175,920
Instead, you could purchase a franchise, learn skills applicable in the real world, get paid instead of paying, and actually have something of value in four years (unlike a diploma).
Get a 7-Day Online Diploma from Belford University ($449), then…
Consider these alternative franchise investments:
College Hunks Hauling Junk $65K - $90K
Doody Calls $42K - $66K
Wholly Crap $14K - $20K
STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP (video) $77K - $153K
RQ’s Seven Figure Blogging $15K - $???
Mob Hitz Contract Killing (video) $Who’s asking?
Recent H.S. Graduates, you are at a crossroads.
One path leads to the instant gratification of 4-5 years of partying and debauchery at Mediocre U., then a meaningless diploma, a mountain of debt, and an eventual minimum wage position cleaning the grease traps at the local Bun ‘N Run. The other path? Skip college, invest the same amount of money in a Bun ‘N Run franchise opportunity, and, in four years, be partying in high style aboard your yacht while MBA candidates clean your grease traps and deposit your daily haul.
Party now, or party for a lifetime… The choice is yours…
LEAVE A COMMENT. NO PREREQUISITES.
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POSTED IN: :-) Humor
23 opinions for Wise Up! Skip College. Buy a Franchise!
Cade @ Write To Right
Jun 21, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I have to say that this is a great point. I like to think as college as an avenue to open doors and help build skills and resources, but it isn’t mandatory. For parents and the social norm it is. The funny thing is that society and many parents don’t have the retirement that they thought they would and somehow expect their kids to do the same thing with different results. Silly.
Congratulations Class of 2007!
Jun 21, 2007 at 11:40 pm
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Michael
Jun 24, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Great to see more people thinking of college more of a business instead of an institution of higher learning. I attend a community college and have been disappointed with my training as a “Network Administrator”. At a fork in the road at this point in time and your article has helped ease me into a better direction. Cheers!
Mary Emma Allen
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:00 am
Sean,
Many people are re-thinking the college route to a career or earning a good living. Often what they trained for in college is no longer a valid opportunity or there are fewer jobs in that field. They also are turning to other home business opportunities in addition to franchaises.
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michael webster
Jul 9, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Sean,
I agree with part of this post. Most individuals go to college too soon for it to be of any use to them.
But it would make more sense, rather than buying a franchise, to work for 6 months at various franchises to learn something of value.
sean
Jul 10, 2007 at 8:37 am
Michael Webster said: ” Most individuals go to college too soon for it to be of any use to them.
But it would make more sense, rather than buying a franchise, to work for 6 months at various franchises to learn something of value.”
Michael: That’s a good point (as is your contention elsewhere that prospective franchise owners should work in a franchise unit before investing).
The good news is that they will get at least 6 months experience working in fast food franchises as soon as they graduate. Liberal Arts majors will probably get a few years.
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sean
Jul 25, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Looks like this post has gotten Ben’s panties in a bunch over at Education & Careers. Unfortunately, like so many others who have the affliction we call “the liberal arts,” Ben missed the point.
He who is fond of pointing out logical fallacies missed his own: “College graduates earn $30K per year more than non-graduates. Therefore, going to college provides an additional $30K yearly to an individual’s income.”
This would only be a valid conclusion if you studied two equal groups of individuals, and sent one group to college and one straight into the work force, then compared their incomes. Ben’s argument disregards the fact that many of the people in a position to go to college - white, middle & upper class, better educated - are those who would also be earning more if they didn’t go to college. Although one of the benefits in going to college is they turn you on to cool textbooks, like “How to Lie With Statistics.”
Jay
Aug 18, 2007 at 5:02 am
Diploma mills seem to be blossoming these days I have lost count on the number of emails I have received from these fake colleges and universities and the other aspect are the vendors who sell fake diplomas also a concerning development.
sean
Aug 18, 2007 at 5:16 am
Jay:
I think that’s a great way to go. You not only save on tuition, but think of the hangovers you’ll avoid!
I was going to delete your obvious “ad disguised as a comment” with the link to your site, but decided to leave it up with this tip to budding slacker conmen:
Now you can get a fake diploma for free! Go to Jay’s site, right click on a sample diploma and save it to your computer. Use a freeware watermark-erasing program to remove Jay’s URL from the image, and there’s your diploma! The only catch: You’ll have to tell people you graduated from the University of Your Name Here.
Marlon
Sep 4, 2007 at 2:59 pm
I’ve got a Bachelor’s and a Master’s both in business and I would have done better getting both of them from a diploma mill b/c that’s about what they’ve been worth to me. I’ve never made anymore than $28,000/yr since I graduated from undergrad and less with my Master’s. I am looking to start a business or get into a franchise situation with a partner since my credit is riddled with student loans. They convince you coming in that student loans are counted as good debt…..LOL. Tell the bank that when you are trying to buy a house. universities are big business and they are in bed with the government, the elite Ivy leaguers usually already have money get great jobs b/c of who they and their parents know. Same can’t be said for the rest of us stiff from Anywhere University. Business ownership is the only way. Maybe one day we can all get together and burn our useless degrees!!!!!!
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