Plaintiff Tries Blinding Pizza Hut with Science (Fiction)

by sean on May 19th, 2008

(FranchisePick.Com) The truth may be out there, but it’s probably not to be found in the 3rd Circuit courtroom where Amanda Verett is suing Pizza Hut.

Verett’s personal injury claim alleges that, in February 2007, Pizza Hut managers dialed 911 because of a “fracas” involving Verett and her law partner. When the police arrived, Verett allegedly injured her shoulder while holding the door open for officers.

According to an editorial (Stranger than science fiction) in the Madison St. Clair record, Verett’s year-old legal assault on Pizza Hut has now been bolstered by “a new fictional law of physics” from a science fiction book (that may exist only in a parallel universe) named “Demons in the Freezer.”

According to the Record, Verett states, in a sworn deposition, a mysterious “vacuum effect” caused her injuries:

“There is a negative pressure environment inside a level four contagion lab,” she said. “The scientists have a lot of trouble getting the doors open because there is a negative pressure inside the containment room,” she opined.
This fictitious event–from a book we cannot verify exists and is not offered by Amazon.com–was presented by Verett to the Madison County court as legitimate proof in support of her personal injury claim.
That is, just like the fictious scientists in “Demons in the Freezer” had trouble opening the fictious door to enter their fictious lab, she had trouble opening the door to exit Pizza Hut.
Or maybe she didn’t. Pizza Hut’s lawyer, Jennifer Kunze, noted that “in a brief moment of apparent lucidity,” Verett admitted during the same deposition that her vacuum theory didn’t really apply in this case at all.

The editorial clearly reveals their left (or right) wing media bias against not only Verett and her associates, but their contempt American’s god-given consitutional right to extort money from business owners using whatever wacky or delusional means necessary:

Verett and her attorney, the notorious Thomas Maag, provide many a Record reader with steady comic relief. It’s fun to tune in and track their free-suing exploits here in the Third Circuit, where no potential defendant can hide from their payday-seeking imaginations.
But the court has a responsibility to do something about lawyers who seem to routinely give the profession a black eye. In the world of public opinion it doesn’t just reflect upon them. but on all lawyers.

The Record should be thanking the 3rd Circuit Court for protecting our right to keep and bear unapologetically preposterous lawsuits. After all, it’s made me a reader of the Madison St. Clair Record, and I don’t even know where Madison, St. Clair or the 3rd Circuit are located*.

* I will check after Googling the “notorious Thomas Maag.”

Image provided by: IdeaFarm.

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