Guantanamo Prison Adds Drive-Thru Windows

by sean on August 12th, 2007

(FranchisePick.Com) Last night, the Army Core of Engineers, Fast Food Division, added a bank of drive-thru windows to the notorious Guantanamo Bay Detention Center. The windows will function as a novel new torture technique specially designed to punish the spoiled brainless teenage moron brats who are delighting in a new craze called “Fire in the hole!”

“Fire in the Hole!” is a delightfully clever prank in which teens pull up to the drive thru window of a fast food restaurant, pay, receive their food, then yell “Fire in the hole!” while throwing their full soda onto the drive-thru worker. Advanced holers have mixed hot sauce into the drinks to burn the workers’ eyes. They speed off in the car, SUV or truck Mommy and Daddy bought them to upload the video (taken on the digital camera Mommy & Daddy bought them) onto YouTube (using the computer and Internet connection Mommy & Daddy paid for).

Once apprehended, Fire-in-the-holers will be flown to Guantanamo, forced to work the drive-thru for minimum wage, be repeatedly hit by flying sodas, and pay their own cell phone bills until they admit they are part of a terrorist group, headed by Paris Hilton and Nicole Richey, dedicated to destroying what little is left of America’s international image and self respect.

My wife insists I dreamed this whole thing and insists it makes too much sense to be true. Gotta admit, she has a point.

Fire in the Hole Links:

“Fire in the hole” NBC News clip on GAWKER.Com

Fire in the Hole “Compilation”

Idiot can’t get car in gear. Get’s fire in his own hole.

Final thought: Perhaps Dawn Larkin will volunteer to be a continuous drive-thru customer at Guantanomo, once her lawsuit against McDonald’s is through.